Doing The Value Audit From Jay Shetty’s New Book – 8ROL

8 Rules of Love had been on my TBR for two months when I randomly happened to pick it up as my next read. The book has been great so far and I love how Jay Shetty encapsulates every detail of how we perceive love in our everyday life. Of course, I’m eager to post my opinions and views on this title as soon as I can, but I’m taking it slow. This time, I’m capturing chapter summaries for better self-understanding and to have a greater awareness of the key takeaways that I love in the book.

In the first chapter, Jay Shetty talks about Rule 1: Let Yourself Be Alone and I love his emphasis on differentiating between loneliness and solitude. 

Within the same context, there’s an explorative activity to help you understand your values and how these values reflect in your life. And that is what you’re joining in on today – these are my personal values, preferences and portraiture as a reflection of my answers to the activity.

The exercise is spread into 4 areas: Time choices, Habits, Money and Social Interactions. Below here, I’m putting down the options that were provided as a bandwidth on which you can scale yourself and below those statements, you’ll find my comments describing where I stand on the scale and what I am like as a person. Here’s to know a little more about me today — Let’s go!

Time Choices

Social Media: I like documenting my life for my friends / Social media is not my thing; I like to be in the here and now

I think I'm probably somewhere in between. I'm not exactly somebody who loves documenting every aspect of their life for other people. But I do like to document life for myself. Especially because watching the tiny snippets of life that I capture helps me calm down and appreciate life every time I do a gallery cleanse :)

Weekends / Travel: I want to see the world / When I have free time, I just want or need to relax

I'm definitely a person who wants to see the world. Every new book that I pick, every new cafe that I visit, every new person that I meet - they make me who I am. Even when restricted by finances or mobility, I'd rather travel to the places I've already been to as opposed to taking an afternoon nap on a Sunday. 

Date Night: I like to stay home and cook / I love a night out on the town

Both! Of course, I love scouring new places around the town frequently. I love going out for a nice lunch or dinner or shopping for books. But I also love the days when we can cook together or play a game on the PS or play a game of chess and peep out the windows while we listen to good music. 

TV: I watch something every night / I curate my shows carefully and only stick with what I love

Undoubtedly, I am a person who watches something every night but also, only sticks to what I love. I love experimenting with new shows and movies that relate to how I feel in life. Good-mood movies are always mandatory every once in a while to do a mood reset. But I love planning on them and I can't watch something on instinct just for the sake of keeping myself occupied. 

Punctuality: I’m always on time / I’m often late

I used to be somebody who was always on time but of late, I'm the person who is often late. Sometimes it depends on whether I really want to be somewhere. If it's something I'm excited about or some formal event, you can expect me on time. Being late is an anxiety trigger for me and it usually destroys the experience for me. I'm working on going back to the punctual person that I used to be.

Planning: I keep a calendar and stick to my plans / I don’t like to be locked into committments

There's no doubt that I am a person who keeps a calendar and sticks to my plans. My to-do lists have to-do lists and I'm always struggling to meet commitments because I have unrealistic expectations of myself. Be that as it may, what I can vouch for is that if it's not on my calendar, it's not getting done. 


Organization: I keep everything tidy, bills paid / I wish I were more organized than I am

There are two aspects to consider here. If we're talking about the general condition of my surroundings, I am a messy person. I don't clean unless the festivities arrive and you'll always find things strewn around in my room. But on the contrary, when it comes to actionables, I'm a really organized person. From paying my bills as soon as it's the 1st of the month to putting everything on my calendar, I love the level of organization I tend to have. 

Exercise: I like to be active or do it for health / I find it hard to motivate

Motivation is really difficult for me! There's just no justification. I'm bad at exercise. I hardly move and I'm damn lazy. I intend on changing these around this year, but that's gonna take a lot of patience. Just focusing on tiny steps for now. 

Food: I eat healthily or do as best I can / Life is short – I eat what tastes good

Initially, I was a 100% "life is short" person but I've grown weaker and inactive throughout the past two years. Eating out especially takes a toll on my overall health. I'm not saying that I'm not having food that tastes good but I'm constantly and consciously cooking at home rather than ordering out. I try to make my meals as delish as possible to fit my taste. 

Sleep: I like to sleep in if possible / I’m an early riser

Like to sleep in. I'd probably not wake up the whole day if that was an option. 


Discretionary spending: My focus is saving for the future / I spend it when I’ve got it

I always save for the future, the spotlight is on saving! Although, I don't hold myself back from enjoying the little things - good books, good food, good coffee - I'll spend on them! However, I've always been somebody with a financial goal in mind and I stringently curb my expenses over a certain limit. 

Vacations: I enjoy extravagant trips / I travel on a budget

I have always travelled on a budget so far. But also, I'm prone to mix in some elements of extravagancy into them. I think I'm a little of both.

Home, clothing, car: I keep it simple / I like the finer things

I definitely like the finer things. It's also a motivator for me to do well in life. I've grown up in a household where the finer things were always really appreciated and hence, the apple didn't fall far from the tree! That doesn't go to say that I don't appreciate the simple things in life. I've also been taught to be humble for most of my life and to never forget your roots no matter how high you fly. 

Purchases: I buy things spontaneously / My purchases are carefully contemplated

All of my purchases are spontaneous. And most of my purchases are coffee and books. I'd like to be a little more aware of why I'm putting my money into a certain purchase. 

Social Interaction

Friends: I like spending time with lots of people / I prefer one-on-one time or to be alone (if it’s the latter, you’ve come to the right rule!)

Always prefer one-on-one time with a select few friends or to be alone. Personally, I love my own company more than anything. Time spent alone with myself really helps me understand what I'm currently going through and how I'd like to shift the direction of my life. It makes me self-aware on choices that I've been making and silent pressures that I've been succumbing to. But otherwise, even one-on-one conversations with some friends feels like a great reset for me. These are people who are constantly uplifting and encourage me to pursue a better, calmer life.

Family: I see my family as often as I can / I only see my family when I have to

Living in India, I think it's mandatory for us to see family whenever we can. Regardless of the fact that I live with my mom, I do try to see my extended, geographically-close family as often as I can. Spending time with family has always been a cultural root for us and I love doing it without any feeling of obligation. 

Conversation: I like to discuss all kinds of topics in detail / I’m a person of few words

Let's just say I have an opinion on everything but I'm an introvert. I provide my opinions only when they are solicited. However, I generally tend to discuss anything and everything that I have an idea about. It helps me grow in my thought and knowledge.

The book is loaded with many more activities that help you with self-realization and it’s not a cutesy book on romance. On the contrary, it gives you hard truths about what love looks like. If you’d like to have your take on this title, you can find the book on Amazon – posting the links for your reference below:

Paperback | Hardcover | Kindle | Audiobook

Would love to know more about you too. So, go on! Pick your favourite question from the list and answer it honestly in the comments below

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